See these? These are turtle hair pins….
Hey Bree! I was going through my bookmarks of posts I thought were important, and look what I found! (Edited for length.)
I have read this sentiment put more eloquently, but I am going to try to repackage here nonetheless because it keeps coming up in my life and I have only recently articulated it adequately in my own head.
This post is about privilege, specifically male privilege. The heart of the matter is when you don’t believe us when we tell you about our experience.
I will give an example from my life, oversimplified so that you cannot misunderstand.
My (white, male, straight, cis, sweet, funny) friend comes up to me and puts his hands around my neck, mimicking choking me.
I turn to him and say, “Don’t do that. You can’t do that to me. That scares me and is not appropriate.”
He is mad and offended and says, “I’m joking and you’re overreacting.”
I say, “This is how your actions made me feel.”
He says, “I did not intend it to be mean or scary. I was being silly. You can’t be offended because I was joking around.”
I say, “Your intention is irrelevant. You made me feel violated. Understand me when I tell you that.
He says that his intention matters more than my reaction and therefore I can’t be hurt.
YOU MUST BELIEVE US WHEN WE TELL YOU THAT YOUR ACTIONS MAKE US FEEL THIS WAY.
I am sorry that it hurts you to think you could make a woman feel unsafe. You do not think you are one of ‘those guys’ — a guy who is shitty to women. But you are coming from the place of privilege which allows you to navigate this world without the default fears of my gender.
You need to trust me when I tell you this has happened. You need to swallow that anger you feel for being informed that you are in the wrong and direct it towards this rape culture. You need to apologize and focus on adjusting your future behavior.
These are things that, being male, you cannot know. Please trust us when we tell you these things.
JJ, you are amazing.
Whoa, I do a couple fanart drawings for Miraculous Ladybug and-
I’m actually getting notes guys.
Like more than eight.
#Kindest fandom ever #Like you don’t even know what notes mean to me #there’s a complete stranger who somehow found my artwork #and they /liked/ it #And so- because I respond to notes like a dog does to treats #I’m totally doing more art for this fandom
Bro, your art is fantastic! I mean, just the style to your pieces! I mean, it makes me wish I still had my Art Appreciation textbook so I could find the right damn words to say “That is a damn fine piece of art.” But I don’t. So you take those notes and have yourself a cookie as well.
(And you’re making us more art? BLESS.)
You were always the best, always shining so bright.
Just watching you made me happy
And that’s why I was always behind you
I wanted to be just like you
I just wanted you to talk to me, like we used to
I tried to catch up to you, but I was always falling behind
I wish I could remember how this whole mess started
But I do remember how it used to be when we were little
That was the best time of my whole life!
We had so much fun…
We had all the time in the world, and more importantly, we had each other
I knew no matter what my problem was, as soon as I talked to you, it would be gone
You were always there for me when I needed you
Or even when I didn’t, you were the only one in my life I could truly count on
And though I still watch you now, it’s from a distance
I know it must be that way
I want you to know, I’ve given up hope for what might have been
But I’ve kept the memory of what was…
Oh yeah. I do have one small favour to ask…
I want…I want you…to ALWAYS be happy, no matter what happens
And the reason is, you were my best friend in the whole world, my very best friend.
I have conflicting feelings about this.
Part of me wants to be a little hermit and stay home, tumblring and playing P3 and watching things. Downside to this: potentially feeding agoraphobia and just wanting to stay in.
Upsides of going to the luau: Food. Hanging out with Dad (and beng a crutch to get him through interaction with people he can’t stand). Not being antisocial. Potential downsides: having to socialize with people I don’t like. Having to socialize at all. Going out only because “It’s the socially acceptable thing.” Not enjoying it. Only going for the food and for Dad. Not having anybody to talk to except for Dad. Having to put on actual clothing.
That last one’s a sticker.
So, if you can relate, give me your opinions. What do you think? What might you do? Do you know this feel, bro?
So someone put this thing in my inbox: ||♥~You are my treasure~♥~Give this message to your ten favourite people who can always make you smile~♥||
And, to be perfectly honest, because that’s what I do, at first I was like “Pfft, I’m not passing along chain mail.”
And then I was like “Hold up… it’s nice to tell people that you care about them. I should do that.”
And then I was ready to write my own message, so I could pass along the happy feelings without the pressure of finding ten people (sorry, I don’t fake affection for the sake of a number count) and to take away the numbers aspect of it.
But then on a page I went to it was too hard to find the ask box, so I decided to do a text post, because why not make it a public confession of love for my people?
So: Bree, Megan, and Snider—you are my people who can always make me laugh or smile or at least see the bright side, etc, etc. I love you all, and you are all my Forever Girls, and you are the first people I thought of when I saw this.
And then JaclynElizabethRae: We’ve been internet buddies for ages and ages, I love your text posts, and I am so happy you exist.
Have I mentioned how much I care for my friends? I love you guys so much.
*You’ll never get there. Never. Actually. Get. Statehood.
** I’m going to make a fantastic teacher. But I think I’ll get in trouble if I say “BS” in the classroom…
Best cure for not getting a part in a play ever.
WAIT! You know what would make this better? Friendship!!!