Hanging out with you gives me an excuse to dress nicely going out. Because I value you, and I associate happiness with nice outfits, however I define it that day. So if I show up overdressed, it’s just because I like you.
Companionable quiet blogging in tandem.
I’m drinking Elizabeth’s wine (don’t want her to get a headache since she says too much wine gives her a headache) and she brought me more garlic bread. Friendship is a beautiful, tasty thing.
And so far we’ve had a serious Michelle Branch moment and I’ve hidden evidence of my drinking from Facebook lest preachy people and those I went to school with be informed wine and potentially whiskey be involved in impromptu pasta day.
TIME FOR GARLIC BREAD AND SPAGHETTI WITH MEATBALLS and a tasteful topping of shredded parmesan and black olives.
I have read this sentiment put more eloquently, but I am going to try to repackage here nonetheless because it keeps coming up in my life and I have only recently articulated it adequately in my own head.
This post is about privilege, specifically male privilege. The heart of the matter is when you don’t believe us when we tell you about our experience.
I will give an example from my life, oversimplified so that you cannot misunderstand.
My (white, male, straight, cis, sweet, funny) friend comes up to me and puts his hands around my neck, mimicking choking me.
I turn to him and say, “Don’t do that. You can’t do that to me. That scares me and is not appropriate.”
He is mad and offended and says, “I’m joking and you’re overreacting.”
I say, “This is how your actions made me feel.”
He says, “I did not intend it to be mean or scary. I was being silly. You can’t be offended because I was joking around.”
I say, “Your intention is irrelevant. You made me feel violated. Understand me when I tell you that.
He says that his intention matters more than my reaction and therefore I can’t be hurt.
YOU MUST BELIEVE US WHEN WE TELL YOU THAT YOUR ACTIONS MAKE US FEEL THIS WAY.
I am sorry that it hurts you to think you could make a woman feel unsafe. You do not think you are one of ‘those guys’ — a guy who is shitty to women. But you are coming from the place of privilege which allows you to navigate this world without the default fears of my gender.
You need to trust me when I tell you this has happened. You need to swallow that anger you feel for being informed that you are in the wrong and direct it towards this rape culture. You need to apologize and focus on adjusting your future behavior.
These are things that, being male, you cannot know. Please trust us when we tell you these things.
JJ, you are amazing.
Whoa, I do a couple fanart drawings for Miraculous Ladybug and-
I’m actually getting notes guys.
Like more than eight.
#Kindest fandom ever #Like you don’t even know what notes mean to me #there’s a complete stranger who somehow found my artwork #and they /liked/ it #And so- because I respond to notes like a dog does to treats #I’m totally doing more art for this fandom
Bro, your art is fantastic! I mean, just the style to your pieces! I mean, it makes me wish I still had my Art Appreciation textbook so I could find the right damn words to say “That is a damn fine piece of art.” But I don’t. So you take those notes and have yourself a cookie as well.
(And you’re making us more art? BLESS.)