Last time on Victoria Liveblogs School Days!

Victoria: OH GOD WHY I FEEL SO WRONG AND UNCLEAN. This episode is actually really good. It’s well written. What the literal fuck.

(Episode 6 was really actually good. I was very disturbed.) Now! On with Liveblogging School Days!

Read More

Because the terms of my hiatus are that I can post junk, but I can’t look at the dash or check other people’s posts (because 12 hours of other people equates to about 2 hours my getting through it, and I don’t have time for that with exams).

But I can contribute!

So what am I contributing?

AN EPISODE OF LIVEBLOGGING SCHOOL DAYS!

Last time on Victoria Liveblogs School Days!

Victoria: School Days Drinking Game!
School Days: Water Park Episode!
Victoria: Oh GOD WHY
Makoto: I’m just gonna be a dick, kay?
Jack Bauer: EVERYBODY ON THE GROUND NOW.
Victoria: And now they’re fucking.
MOOOOORRRRNIIIIIIINNNNNNGGG LLLLEEEESSSSSCCUUUUUUUUUUUUUEEE 

And now… ON WITH SCHOOL DAYS

Read More

• I wouldn’t say that I love Wallflower, but it can really be fun.
• GOD I PREFER THE ENGLISH DUB SO HARD.
• …Actually I’m not even live-blogging this one. I’ve already seen it, and Wallflower is really something you kind of have to try for yourself to see if you’ll like it, love it, hate it, or just be weirded out and leave it alone. It can be pretty fun, but… well… I have Alice in the Country of Hearts now for when I want to see pretty men and stuff, and I find Alice to be a more sympathetic heroine than Sunako (she’s not meant to be sympathetic, she’s meant to be a joke).

So, I’ll prematurely end my Liveblogging.

• …All I could think in that opening scene thing was “Is that hinting at a tentacle rape joke?
• Well, I’m going to feel unclean for this: I really like the opening sequence. It’s a really solid integration of music and animation with tone and montage shots, etc.
• Yep, tentacle rape jokes. I don’t know what the things with tentacles are. It’s episode 4. And there’s a silver-haired pretty boy. I ship him arbitrarily with the biggest, burliest, man this show has to offer.
• And we have our first panty shot of someone who looks like she’s ten. And I looked up as she was shouting TWO GIRLS AND ONE GUY! (Edit: ANd now she’s humping the air? I didn’t see the dialogue, she was shouting about cute she was.)
• Hello, main character’s sister complex.
• Panty shot count is 2
• I like the “cougar slut,” and boy does silver-hair have a mouth on him.
• Blonde initial panty shot chick is now shouting about a guy (obviously Silver Hair) saving her in the Red Night. And now she’s bound to be in love with him.
• Also, Red Hair is stoic. That is her character: stoic red head with a sword, who is female and has boobs.
• Silver Hair really couldn’t give a damn. Good for you. You still can’t escape this show, poor thing. (Didn’t mention before, but he’s a firebender.)
• Yep, blonde chick (initial panty shot chick) is whipped as heck for Firebender.
• Main Sharacter sucks at Kendo, Red Hair stoicly coaching him/sparring. Now she’s talking about resolution, reflections, emptiness, and other deep stuff as Main Character wants to protect Yuka.
• How about that! He just ESPed her coming attack, and Red Hair is speechless that he defended her attack that she didn’t make. And Blondie makes fun of thim for it (analytically) and he’s like “I am disappoint myself,” and Redhead’s like “What the fuck ESP.”
• And so Main Character and Yuka are actually in a relationship, arm holding with breast proximity and all.
• And now for more chaacters whose names I don’t know, here to give comic relief.
• Redhead gets so close to telling him about the ESP thing
• …AND SOLID THIRTY SECONDS, PROBABLY MORE, OF BEWB GROPING BY BLONDIE TO YUKA. “You interrupted us in the middle of club activities!” WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR CLUB THAT INVOLVES INCESSANTLY GROPING THE BOOBS? NO PURPOSE, JUST GOADING YOUR SICK TARGET DEMOGRAPHIC. FUCK THIS SHOW. FUCK THIS SHOW.  FUCK THIS SHOW. FUCK THIS SHOW.   FUCK THIS SHOW. FUCK THIS SHOW.  FUCK THIS SHOW. FUCK THIS SHOW.   FUCK THIS SHOW. FUCK THIS SHOW.  FUCK THIS SHOW. FUCK THIS SHOW.   FUCK THIS SHOW. FUCK THIS SHOW.  FUCK THIS SHOW. FUCK THIS SHOW.   FUCK THIS SHOW. FUCK THIS SHOW.  FUCK THIS SHOW. FUCK THIS SHOW.   FUCK THIS SHOW. FUCK THIS SHOW.  FUCK THIS SHOW. FUCK THIS SHOW.   FUCK THIS SHOW. FUCK THIS SHOW.  FUCK THIS SHOW. FUCK THIS SHOW.  
• Oh, the boob groping was interrupted by a spell of the Shadow Realm Red Night taking over
• …Blondie… The fuck? What the hell? What even is your -PANTY SHOT- split personality -PANTY SHOT-?  I mean, you’d give god damn River -PANTY SHOT- Tam a run for her money. I give up. ANd now she’s been stabbed through the torso by a sword on a tentacle. Wow, look at all that blood! Oh, no, it was a blade on a whip. Or somehting. Wow, she sure does have a lot of blood! And no life in her eyes! THis is not nearly as charming as Mami’s death by Charlotte. (Also, the person who killed her looks like a Power Rangers villain, if you crossed Zed with the witch lady.)
• And with no fucks to give about that brutal yet hilariously entertaining murder, is Firebender, who chases away the bad guys with his fire, and then the Red Night ends.
• GLasses controled split personalities, instant regeneration of wounds. Blondie, you can be the perpetually dying Jack Harkness of this show. Go die. A lot.
• AND NOW A SHOT FOR THE YURI SHIPPERS! Hug from behind time from Yuko (the gropee) to Blondie (the groper). God I hate this show.
• And we can’t forget our het shipping! Blondie has to yell after Firebender, who is the only character who sustained lasting damage.
• God I hate this show so much.

If I remember correctly from last time, Naruto Shippuden is gay as heck. This should be fantastic.

• IT’S IN ENGLISH. OH SIX PACK-A-DAY SMOKER NARUTO. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE.
• Hello to Shikamaru and Temari. (She popped your cherry yet, Shika? I get the impression she might have raped you in your sleep, and you just woke up and were like “meh.”
• God I hate the interpersonal communication on this show. Screw all of your conversation, you annoying fucks.
• And now for Kakashi Sensei, possibly the only character who is shipped more than Zuko or Katara from Avatar: The Last Airbender.
• And this Japanese rap is still hilariously… I don’t even know what. But me gusta.
• Prepare to be raped by Kakashi. Again.
• Oh, Kakashi, you and your porn. I really kind of don’t like his voice-acting.
• Kakashi totally just looked Sakura up and down. I secretly shipped that way back in the day, before I vehemently hated Naruto. (I’ve chilled.)
• NARUTO QUIT BITCHING, AND SAKURA SHUT YOUR BITCH FACE.
• Wait, you aren’t all chunin yet? The heck. Edit: Oh, just Forever Alone Naruto. Bahahaha. I love watching Naruto freak the hell out about everybody else being chunin, chounin, and KazeKage.
  PLEASE SAY BELIEVE IT. SAY IT. SAY IT. SAY “BELIEVE IT.”
• Kakashi, where’s your hand? In your pocket, hmm?
• I just don’t like this dub. But it does make live-blogging easier. 
• …I’m sorry, but I do seriously want to watch all of the Uchiha Brothers episodes right in a row. It’ll be a big gay old time and I will not stop laughing. (BREE. YOU’RE RUBBING OFF ON ME. NO ME GUSTA.)
• Oh, it’s cute how all of these Sand Village people are planning to defend themselves.
  Lead Guy: So, we have over a hundred nameless soldiers positioned all around, given distinctive red shirts so they know each other, looking out for very distinctive badass clothing.
• Guy with mouths in the palms of his hands. Blowjob joke. There, done.
• Sappy piano music = mourn your lost nakama, bitches.
• “Steal these bells from me.” All of the sexual subtext.
• “DON’T LEAVE ME!” Flashback Sakura screams like a slain goat. Kristen Stuart could take lessons.
• Yep. Those little bells are still a visual metaphor for balls.
• Instant drinking game: Take a drink for every flashback.
• “No he won’t. I bet he already finished reading it.” WOW YOUR BANTER IS SO WITTY SAKURA DUMBITCH. WHERE DO YOU COME UP WITH THESE LINES. 
• AKATSUKI TRAVEL WITH THEIR OWN GREGORIAN CHANT CHOIR. God, that’s fantastic.
  Also, blowjob joke.
• …And writer dude, Hokage Chick, and Saucy yet Mousy Secretary all like to watch. They’re the Denny of this show.
• “What are we waitin’ for?” screams Naruto. Then he turns into immobile pastels, and the episode is over.

…Is it still racist if it’s a black guy?

Yes, yes it is.

Oh, yeah, Live Blogging Anime Night.

Usually at intermission it’s Love And Joy (Hatsune Miku) or CaramellDansen.

…Yep, they’re Para Paraing.

I seriously love the Draco Malfoy cosplayer who’s front and center. Her cosplays are always great and she’s one of the best dancers here. 

Thank God they’re not doing Love And Joy. (That video makes me TL;DR, sorry.)

Nevermind. Oh, and everybody who’s doing it knows the steps. Good for them. It’s hard. And two have dropped out, leaving three dancers, with Draco Malfoy still holding the technical advantage over the rest. Headcanon for life? Yes, yes it is. And two thirds of the way through people are throwing off jackets and losing shoes. Those teases… (Btdubs, there’s one girl in this fantastic little black dress, and I don’t know what her cosplay is, but I do respectfully envy a well-worn little black dress.)

• Yep, that’s a batshit crazy opening.
• Yep, that’s a batshit crazy beginning to the episode.
• Yep, that’s a batshit crazy plot premise.
• Yep, that’s a batshit crazy fight scene.
• Yep, those are some batshit crazy characters.
• Yep, that was one batshit crazy flashback to his childhood.
• Haha, Pickles is this show’s bitch.
• …I think his father is a giant ink-colored sperm with a face. What all of the fuck. (And he sold out his son. Fantastic.)
• And the stalker appears.
• Black chick in the audience (the most vocal and voracious yaoi fangirl I think I’ve interacted with (Bree, you have more tact)) brings up that the characters are obviously KKK (some of them are hooded) which is why they’re after the Black Man With The Fro, Just tryin’a keep the black man down!
• And in the commercial caps I’m pretty sure the main character tentacle rapes people with his nose hair.
• And our main antagonist is the definition of fabulous.
• People live in the main character’s nose, living with the hair. One is currently doing laundry.
• Oh, and the villain just won a plush. That’s nice.
• Mom’s comment: “Somebody got funding for this… There were meetings about this.” My added bits: “There were contracts. There are legal documents on this… Mom, to be fair, everyone was stoned out of their minds at those meetings.”
• So, all of the fuckery here, I …
• I love the bit with the chipmunks at the bistro table inside his fro, having a heartbreaking conversation about their doomed love. Keep after her, little guy! If you love her, keep after her! (What I called out: “I SHIP IT” as soon as they came onscreen, and “Don’t laugh—this is breaking my heart!” when people were laughing at it.”
• The fuck. The real fuck. The what the fuck. THe nunfuckery. Random. I’m just gonna go back to describing everything as batshit crazy.
• THE HELL. THIS THING IS 26 MINUTES LONG. NOT 23, 26. HOW THE HELL DID THAT EVEN HAPPEN.
• And the Samba outfit.

• The series is Dice, a really crappy marketing-driven series that I freaking love because it’s the perfect kind of crappy. Also, I’m certain—like, not ironically certain, analytically certain—that is about justifying industrial terrorism.
• Hey, gay robots serving tea. Lookit that, makin’ me smile.
• ANd here’s the mysterious masked man who is hinted to be the main character’s brother, even though HE CAN’T BE! *le gasp* Cue all of the incest fic. Also, it’s one of those “trapped on an ice planet” episodes. I’m sorry, but “sharing body heat in an ice cave which then leads to fucking” is one of the oldest tropes in the book. They’re still in their mid-size mechas not being incesty, but the subtext is there.
• Also, the episode is ripping off Balto minus the Iditerod and all dog sleds. Still all about a totally-not-diptheria breakout.
• And now the sappy music is playing for the happy ending, and I’m seriously wondering if there is a single not-gay male on this show. I mean, I’ll post things later to justify this.
• Boss and main character are having a heart to heart in the hangar. GAAAAYYY. So I called out “and then yaoi happened.” And there was consensus, and I swear I heard a couple teenagers behind me whisper “what’s yaoi?” Oh, uncorrupted youth.
  OH GOD BOSS MAN JUST HANDED THE MAIN CHARACTER A HOT DOG (in a bun). HANDED HIM A HOT DOG. God you writers are fantastic with your yaoi poking. His reward for a successful mission was a hot dog. Wow that’s just amazing. 

Or should I shower first?

Psssh, shower after School Days, always.

Whelp! More School Days! And I expect to be thoroughly disgusted by this episode! No lost virginity in the last episode, and this episode starts my playing of THE SCHOOL DAYS DRINKING GAME! Brought to you by Snapple Peach Tea. (Oh, God, let’s just move on. THINK ABOUT LABYRINTH. THINK ABOUT LABYRINTH.)

Rules (keep in mind that these rules were designed for non-alcoholic beverages, and hard drinking may kill you with these rules):

1. Any time Makoto gets any, take a drink.
2. Anytume Katsura says she’s Makoto’s girlfriend, take a drink.
3. For blatant fanservice (boob shots, ass shots, taint shots, particularly leering body shots) take a drink.
4. Two drinks for reference to masturbation.
5. Pause the program and drink as much as you like of whatever beverage you wish when the program becomes so awful that you must pause it, possibly saying “look at your life, look at your choices.”

And the drinking game rules for this post:

1. Any time I use a term of endearment (because I’m a Southern lady), take a drink.
2. Any time I use profanity (because I’m a southern lady) take a drink.
3. Two drinks if I reference tears.
4. Two drinks if I compliment the show. (Saying “lookit you” and “good for you” don’t count.)

Onwards, live-blogging School Days!

• FIRST SIXTEEN SECONDS AND SEVEN DRINKS. GOD THIS GAME WILL KILL YOUR LIVER IF YOU USE ALCOHOL AND RULE 2.
  And the Horny Exposition Fairy (forgotten his name from last time) is enjoying the sights as the producers of the show expected their target demographic to, and Makoto is enjoying it even less than I am! (But that’s mainly because I’m playing a drinking game, and he’s just a dick who’s in a “meh” mood.)
•  Flashback of Makoto getting a kiss: Drink total now eight.
• OH GOD. WHY DID THE CAMERA HAVE TO FOCUS ON EXPOSITION FAIRY’S SPEEDO? At first I thought this episode would just completely confirm me in my heterosexuality with disgusting images of sexualized underage girls, but… Oh God, I’m just getting more and more asexual by the second.
  AND WE’RE ONLY 23 SECONDS IN. GOD HAVE MERCY! Drink total: 9. I will refrain from notifying you of the drink total unless there’s something notable happening. OH GOD MY EYES.
• Opening is exempt from the count.
• The instant Otome shows up with a ticket (the plot has backtracked a day or so in the timeline), Itou goes “What, you’re interested in me to?” My exact words, in shock, as he’s beaten for his outburst: “You bastard.” Take a drink. I mention this because it’s easier to curse on Tumblr than irl, so it’s worth mentioning. But he is a complete bastard.
• Taisuke is his name, the Horny Exposition Fairy and Otome’s crush. I ship them together, because it’s literally the only alternative to shipping her with Makoto. Except for the giant lesbian orgy, which I don’t ship.
• So the drink count is at 23 by 8:15, the last six happening in rapid succession, and prize swimmer Sekai darting off through the water to get away from it. This moment brought to you by the Voice of Samuel L. Jackson, which I seriously need to critique this show at the moment.
• Dude. Grabbing another girl’s ass when you’re at a public place with your girlfriend? You are a complete prick. Oh yeah—I forgot to factor in “any time Makoto gets any” into the recent count. Refactoring: Drink count at 25 by 9:58.
  And, Sekai, way to push him off. If only I could trust you to keep at it. But I can’t.
• Sanagawa, you might be my new favorite bitch. But then I remember you’re a teenage male, and I’m like “Nevermind.” Oh, and now Katsura can cook well, with no indication of what happened from the first episode to now to change things.
• Sekai looks murderous, we have our first affirmation of relationship status from Katsura drink, and I’m offended by the Almay eyeshadow commercial saying that they have “An eye shadow pallette for every color! All four! Because gray isn’t a color, you deluded bitch! You have brown, green, blue, or hazel. Nothing else. Buy our eyeshadow.” I’m sorry, I just have all of these feels about my indeterminate eye color, and why the heck are they playing this ad during School Days? That ad may be relevant to me, but it’s not remotely relevant to the target demographic of School Days, and I certainly don’t have a personalized Crunchyroll account for this to be going on. What the heck. And at halfway, the drink count is 29.
• “Climbing the stairway to adulthood. GO ME!” It’s funny, because he’s talking about his penis. Poor Otome. The only thing worse than liking this guy is the fact that you’re going to give your v-card to Makoto.
• Good for you, Sanagawa, securing your place of Exposition Fairy by stating the obvious!
• …The emotionalism of the Sekai and Itou scene was pretty good, and so is the emotionalism to lighting and camerawork on the transit scene. (I give credit where it’s due. And just because the emotional appeal is there doesn’t mean that Makoto isn’t a total prick.)
• Wassat, Makoto? It hurts to get friendzoned by a girl after she let you grope you? Let me just get a fork to twist in your side, cackling “Hurts, don’t it?”
• Oh… oh… he’s not about to get laid, is he? All this emotional appeal isn’t going to lead to him having sex, is it? It is, isn’t it? Some of the best animation in this series so far, some of the best dialogue, and some of the best writing and emotional manipulation… It’s all so he can get some, isn’t it? (And take a drink, ‘cause now he’s getting kissed and the count is to 39.)
• Yup. The episode closes on them in bed together. OH, BUT JUST YOU WAIT. THERE’S AT LEAST ONE EXTRA SPECIAL SANGAWA SURPRISE IN THE END CREDITS. YAY I’M GLAD THE EPISODE IS RETURNING TO THE FANSERVICE IT BEGAN ON. 
• Turns out it’s not just one. Not. Just. One. (Also the end credits song has changed again. how about that.)

End drink count: 45. And I’m kind of sobbing.

• Fish-eye lens on Katsura’s face. WOW I WONDER IF SHE’S GOING TO GO INSANE.
• Makoto, your problem isn’t that getting a girlfriend isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Your problem is that you’re a bastard. Work on that.
  …Pssh, oh yeah, this is School Days.
•  Hello, fanservice and girly talk. I might try to be engaged, but I know these girls are only here to be sexually objectified. I don’t want to think of them as people when the plot will only use them as meat.
• Huh! As they were kissing on the roof, Makoto went a little too far, Katsura said she just wasn’t ready, and he actually apologized. How about that. (See? I may dislike him a lot, but I don’t just when he gets crap right.)
• No, sweetie, Katsura, we need to talk about the concept of “fair” and “not fair” in a relationship. “I’m just not ready to move forward physically in the relationship like he is” is not an example of not fair. Being a cocktease—acting coquettish and flirtatious and then telling him “What the heck how dare you touch me what is wrong with you” is probably an example of unfair. Him trying to push you further and faster than you want to go is an example of unfair. Makoto is just barely not there because he’s backing off when you say no.
  Being in a relationship is not about one person servicing the other. (You’re not benefriends for goodness’ sake.) It’s about communicating good and bad things, trying to make each other happy and being happy oneself.
• Sekai. I. You are no longer my favorite bitch.
• …And from the conversation about losing virginity which led to the above point, Katsura starts talking about how men on horseback make her heart skip a beat.
  From loss of virginity to equestrianism fetish.
  God I hope this show doesn’t drive me to drink.
•  OH GOD I DON’T WANT TO KNOW WHY THEY FOCUSED ON THE TRASHCAN.
• I’m not going to judge Makoto for being upset with Katsura here. I know he’s going to do a helluva lotta stuff to make me judge him in this series, so for now I’ll let him have “My girlfriend is frustrating me with her unwillingness to allow the groping.”
• Otome, you’re probably my new favorite bitch fore advising Sekai tostay away from Makoto.
• OH GOD THEY SHOWED HIS ROOM. Tissues and skin mags. Camera, I did not need to see that.
• Sekai, sweetie, you’re cheapening yourself being his practice dummy. Look at yourself in the mirror and say “I’m worth it.” And then you can like or love this boy if you want, but don’t just let him get off on you. What even is this? Sweetie.
• And we’re to the halfway point!
• Ah, the literature teacher is talking about some story about a person involved with a prostitute. IT’S CLEVER BECAUSE WHATEVER MEDIA IS AROUND COMMENTS ON THE NATURE OF THE RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN THE CAST MEMBERS. And that’s clever. Because cleverness.
• Sekai. Sweetie. You’re only putting yourself in danger here. Sweetie. There are wrong ways to go about this, and I’m certain this is one. Look at your life. Look at your choices. Illicit relationship groping, and then you watch him go back to his girlfriend? You’re only hurting yourself.
• And back to the subplot of the tickets, which apparently her father got from work. Um, water park tickets? Do older Japanese men often get water park tickets from their jobs? Do older Japanese men go to water parks?
• And now the end music has changed to something more balladesque, a bit sadder, and a bit more serious (as far as I can tell).

Things to look forward to: Makoto having his way with various girls. Next episode takes place in a water park. Sekai continues to make bad choices. And various side characters establish themselves.

And boy does this episode look to be a doozie! We’ve got Makoto (Itou) saying he really doesn’t feel like hanging out with Katsura anymore, and he’s got to get to screwing Sekai soon if he’s going to have time to screw all those other girls. And the episode title is “Innocence,” so I get the feeling someone is handing in his, her, or their v-card(s) this episode.

I shouldn’t be as thankful as I am that this show turned out to be so much stupid crap, but, well, there was too much potential for critical analysis which was completely dropped. (No meaning to the use of color, no meaning to forms of education, just a stupid school drama where kids fuck.)

Let the asinine begin!

• Not a fan of the little sister. She’s not cute or funny, but she tries so hard. Still not appealing.
• And now I am skipping the beginning. Hurrah.
• Heck, now I have to rewind to count how many seconds are devoted to her balloons.
  …Five continuous seconds of jiggling her breasts. WE GET IT. THEY EXIST.
  Oh, there goes my heterosexuality/third wave feminism again! Stupid me! I can’t watch this show with a female brain and be fulfilled!
• I’m suspending the “If she has lines and a name, he will screw her” rule in the case of the little sister. Minors fucking, yeah, whatevs, but I’m fairly certain this isn’t a lolicon show.
• Huh! Lookit how big her room is! I bet she’s wealthy. (Also, more shots to focus on her anatomically improbable figure, conveniently free from any sort of flaw.)
• Aw. Poor Sekai. Despite molesting Katsura (which I still condemn you for because it was stupid, gross, and wrong), I feel bad for you, sitting forlornly alone on that bench as your crush and his girlfriend sit right nearby talking about boyfriendy girlfriendy things.
  Yep. Still hate you for groping her. You bitch.
•  Aw! Sekai! You’re telling her not to spoil him! You’re telling her to have a spine and tell him no when she’s uncomfortable! (Maybe you’re just secretly a polyamorous bisexual and you want a three-person relationship with both of them. Or you just want to be a good friend.)
• SEKAI. WHAT EVEN ARE YOU WEARING. YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS AND SLUTTY. SIMULTANEOUSLY. I’m going to assume this is a job. When you work someplace, and you change at that place of employment, and you really, really need to make a call, most people don’t stand there in their panties and unbuttoned shirt. Even if that skanknugget uniform has ruined all sense of modesty you might have had, it’s your work. You change quick and get out of there, because that’s what people do: once done with your shift, you leave promptly, because it’s work, and outside there’s not work happening.
  …Pssh, there I go again, being realistic when there’s undies covering naughty bits to flash at the audience.
• HALFWAY MARK! This is going faster since I have much less to write. And those commercial cap cards with the chibis of characters with disproportionately large phones are so cute! Look at Otome getting her phone caught in her loopy hairdo!
• Wait, their lesson on electricity involves a cat? MAN! I WOULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH MORE INTERESTED IN STATIC ELECTRICITY LESSONS IF WE’D HAD CATS IN THE CLASSROOM! #GiveThatTeacherASpinnoff #Wait #Nevermind #ThisIsSchoolDays #OnlyOneThingCouldComeOfThat #Fucking
• Setsuna, you still creep me out. But at least you’re trying to be a good friend.
• And now for Itou to go to Katsura’s house to hang out with her and her little sister. Aw, just lookit the way the little bugger orders the teenagers around. lookit the way she rides him. If Kokoro were old enough to screw in this show, she would be the one screwing him, not the other way around! She’s definitely the most seme one of this series so far. (But Makoto’s pretty uke in my opinion—he just gets bitches out of main character power, and they’re more uke than he is.)
• …I haven’t mentioned it up to this point because it is serious business, but I get the feeling Katsura’s an abuse victim.
• Aw, that’s nice, kissing him on the cheek instead of on the lips. Lookit you, doing what you want instead of what he wants!
• And then it closes on “I’m kind of getting tired of spending time with Kotonoha (Katsura).” GOD YOU’RE A BITCH.

Verdict: Yep, the series is definitely on its way to serious suck.

• Damn it. This beginning is actually pretty funny, and cute. Please all turn to crap very soon.
• The color palette is still very subdued. There goes my analysis of color usage in the storyline.
• DUDE. WHAT KIND OF DICK PICKS UP A BIKINI MAG WHEN HE’S ON A FUCKING FIRST DATE? AND THE POSES THOSE GIRLS WERE IN WEREN’T SUGGESTIVE, THEY WERE EROTIC. YOU LITTLE BITCH, YOU ARE TOO DUMB TO BE INVOLVED WITH WOMEN, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.
• That first opening thing may’ve been cute, but this dialogue-less, chemistry-free, generic instrumental music montage of a date is boring as heck. Not even going to curse here—just heck, it’s that boring. There’s no “I want to do you” chemistry, much less any “Oh God I can’t believe I’m standing next to you can this just be a thing please can we just be here standing together, like together together, with you wanting to be here with me too?” kind of I’ve-got-a-crush chemistry you’d expect two [the plot says they’re] attractive high school kids to have.
• I laughed as he was denied his extremely pushy kiss. Serves you right, prick.
• As the opening plays, I’m really paying attention this time. At first, it’s all cute and charming, like “Oh, these school kids and their first big crushes! Two girls, one guy, which will he pick?” And I had to wonder “Hmm. I wonder when it will get to the senseless fucking.” And then you had the girls come onscreen one at a time, naked in that way that anime does (like with Magical Girl transformations) where it’s just no big deal that the character is topless onscreen. Also, perky nipples. It was this part of the opening when about 8 sexual-partners-to-be got their screentime that I was comforted in the fact that School Days is nothing but what it is: it’s about minors having sex.
• Oh my gosh… I actually like Sekai…
  I mean, I had her pegged for a heartless, manipulative bitch in the first episode who was trying to manipulate those around her to make herself feel falsely altruistic.
  But here she is, honestly feeling for the other girl whose name escapes me. She’s trying to tell him how to make that other girl happy, how to be a good boyfriend. Das ril sweet. So she has to stand there, listening to him talk about his date, how close he got to kissing this girl, and she just has to try to be this good friend… Knowing what a bitchfest this show is going to be, at least I think Sekai might be my favorite bitch.
• Also, Makoto, you can’t get killed fast enough. What even is this? You’re asking Sekai for kissing practice, or you would be if she weren’t cutting you off in the name of friendship? This is going to be a long series with you, isn’t it?
• Okay.
  I can handle a bath scene, because I know it’s part of Japanese culture. Leering shot of the back through transparent water? It is School Days after all. But a girl standing up with the door open and her baby sister just looking in (she was delivering a message) standing up and then let’s devote a second or two of screen time to a shot of her back as the sideboob jiggles?
  I’m usually pretty “whatevs” about the camera objectifying the woman. Fanservice has its place, and I can’t roundly condemn it while I enjoy manservice unapologetically. But this? This… God, she has so little personality and so much breast it’s like they’re sexually objectifying a lobotomy patient. (What? Am I currently wearing my Suckerpunch T-shirt? Psssh, whatever gave you such a, pssshhh, silly idea, psshaw!) My point is: Ew. This scene is gross. And inaccurate. Look at those boobs. She must have back problems. (I hope you read that in the insert-stock-phrases [here] monotone that I did.)
• Aw, she wanted to see the monster movie! And because Itou’s a bitch, he chose they should see the romantic flick.
  Dude. “You have to see a romantic film on a date.” What the actual fuck, since you’re actually going to be doing that for [the world] God only knows what reason. You see a scary movie on a date, because that gives the girl an excuse to cling onto your arm. You can appreciate it together, or make fun of it together. But a romance? Good luck.
  Also, poor girl! You begin to show a shard of personality, and he doesn’t care, because he’s not capable of thinking with his upstairs brain.
•  Whoa, two girls in one bed in this romance movie? Impromptu lesbianism? Wait, what, who said that?
  No. Actually, THE MOVIE REFLECTS THE ANIME. ZOMG WHAT GUYS, IT’S LIKE THE PLAY WITHIN A PLAY SCENE IN HAMLET. Except this sucks, because it’s ham-handed, no lesbianism—Bun-bun!—and the chick has to say (for the members of the audience who aren’t catching on; this is School Days after all) “They’re like us.”
• Yay, now the movie has a (hetero) sex scene! This is one reason not to see a romance on an early date: awkwardness of simultaneously viewing smut, and not knowing how to act or react in front of the person, or if it’s okay to converse about it.
  It would be easier if it were Misha Collins, because everyone is Mishasexual. Most just don’t know it yet. 
• Ah. Katsura. That’s the busty girl’s name.
• Wait—the man and woman who are in bed about to have raucous coitus in the movie they’re watching… The woman told him to turn out the lights, and then it immediately happened, without unintwining fingers, without moving the clasped hands on the bed, without any movement. HOW CLOSE IS HIS LIGHTSWITCH TO THE BED THAT THE CLASPED HANDS DID NOT MOVE? *analyzing this way too hard* *snicker… hard… it’s funny because School Days*
• “Oh, Peter, those are my breasts!” Well, honey, he has you on your back in his bed, and you asked him to turn out the lights. What did you expect would happen.
  …
  …Oh. Maybe that.
• GOD ITOU YOU’RE SUCH A SPAZZ. Also, Katsura, you are a bitchin’ fine woman for slapping him. Good for you, sweetie, good for you!
• The small screen could not contain the heated passion of this cafe scene. Legit, guys. That’s the real reason this is internet-only. This scene. This awkward, long, slow, mostly quiet scene.
• HALFWAY POINT GUYS! And I get to hate this show much more than appreciate it! I’m doin’ great!
• I geddit! The teacher is talking about chemical reactions as Sekai and Itou pass notes about relationship issues. Chemicals react = people in relationships.
  …Or the production notes on the scrip were “Get some God damned chemistry in here,” and they were like DERPOKAY! and threw in a chemistry lesson.
• Ah, lookit that! A female gets lines and a name! I bet he’s going to screw her at some point!
• Aw. Poor horny exposition fairy. He can feel his plot relevance dwindling. Let’s have a moment of silence for the fact that he will never get Itou’s sloppy seconds.
• Sekai, you’re fantastic. In the scenes you’re had this episode, I really like you. The writers are going to rip that away from me, aren’t they?
• OH GOSH CAN THE HORNY EXPOSITION FAIRY PLEASE GET A SPINNOFF? I WANT TO SEE HIM GLORIOUSLY FAIL AT ALL THINGS ROMANTIC SO MUCH. You enjoy that book on how to get girls, honey, you enjoy the heck outta that. (Looked up his name. Taisuke Sawanaga. God go with you in combat. To laugh at your failure with the rest of us.)
• They really are fond of sideways shots in this series. Like they’re just dying to throw in a portrait format still of the girl, but they can’t, so they just turn the camera sideways. (I’m not analyzing this for meaning. There is no meaning to the camera angles. A sideways shot does not mean sideways speaking. It’s just the choice they made.)
• Wow. They actually said “Thinking with his other head.” I prefer “Not thinking with the upstairs brain,” but that’s not what the script wanted. Double entendres for EVERYONE! Please use responsibly!
• And now Sekai is vigorously groping Katsura.
  Fuck it.
  I hate them all.
  (But, hey, life imitates art, and that spontaneous lesbianism I jokes about is now apparently happening! Nifty?)
• Yay. They made up. And had a “meaningful” kiss.
  So, he’s desperately promising “not to do anything [she] won’t like anymore” and she’s giving him a kiss to make sure he knows that they’re good now.
  Flaw 1: You (Itou) are a dick and you don’t listen when she expresses things, and you’re not sensitive enough to know her “DOES NOT WANT” signals until she’s slapping you.
  Flaw 2: You (still Itou) are promising “not to do anything [she] won’t like.” Not “want,” “like.” Put a pin in this, we’re coming back to it.
  Flaw 3: Katsura, sweetie, there’s positive reinforcement and negative reinforcement. Negative reinforcement was when he was getting to grabby in the movie theater and she slapped him. Positive reinforcement is kissing him. Sweetie, when your boyfriend has been doing a bunch of things that just make you uncomfortable, particularly of a romantic nature, you don’t kiss him. Kisses are important, especially your first kiss with him. He’s trying to be better? Fantastic. He wants to change, to fix what he’s doing? Great. Take his hand. Give him a hug, platonic or non-platonic as you see fit. But there are levels of contact. You don’t have to skip ahead to the kiss when he has been asking for it insistently when you were not ready. At least give him a chance to develop the real estate on “I’m okay with not moving forward physically, really” before you bring down the property value on it.
  Now, let’s bring these flaws together. One, Itou is a horny jerk who can’t perceive female emotion. Two, he’s not thinking through what he’s promising, just the first thing that comes to mind. Three, Katsura is too eager to please (because that’s what boyfriends and girlfriends do) and therefore risks moving too far forward too quickly, and positively reinforcing Itou’s half-baked thought process of “I’ll do whatever I need to to get back to the break-even place.”
  These are not things you look for in a relationship. These are bad things. 
•  So, it’s the darndest thing, but I don’t watch porn. I hear jokes about porno music like anybody else on the internet, so on that I’m just going to summarize the end music as generic pop with a slightly porno undertone.

YAY! I DIDN’T LIKE IT! I DIDN’T SEE MERIT IN IT! I BARELY SAW ANY MERITS OF SHAKESPEAREAN CHARACTERS! HALLELUJAH!