Insert Awesome Title [Here]

Who wants to help me live on the edge and get me a pirated copy of the OED

English is the most tsundere GODDAMN language.

cs-elliot:

History of the English Language Lesson of the Day: Words can change in meaning depending on how they become used in the vernacular. One example not on this list is “hopefully” which is only supposed to mean “to be filled with hope,” but it is often used in place of “I hope.” In the sentence “Hopefully I get the job,” it should technically be written as “It is to be hoped that I will get the job.” However, that sounds dumb and will get in the way of proper communication with any English speaker. Thus, the language has changed and to say that “hopefully” strictly means “to be filled with hope” is to be an asshat of a Grammar Nazi.Class dismissed.

Snider, I bless you. I bless you for saying the things so I don’t have to put my serious face on and explain the thing.

cs-elliot:

History of the English Language Lesson of the Day: Words can change in meaning depending on how they become used in the vernacular. One example not on this list is “hopefully” which is only supposed to mean “to be filled with hope,” but it is often used in place of “I hope.” 

In the sentence “Hopefully I get the job,” it should technically be written as “It is to be hoped that I will get the job.” However, that sounds dumb and will get in the way of proper communication with any English speaker. Thus, the language has changed and to say that “hopefully” strictly means “to be filled with hope” is to be an asshat of a Grammar Nazi.

Class dismissed.

Snider, I bless you. I bless you for saying the things so I don’t have to put my serious face on and explain the thing.

So if my life were a story being studied in an English class, the teacher at this point might stop to take a look at how the civil war happening in my uterus right now is symbolic of the political turmoil dividing our country, or how it and the Midol I’m about to ingest are just an example of realism, where my pain is not symbolic, just sucky.

Both of these are wrong however, because of the format. This is a blogger analyzing life, self, and a commercial product, meaning that this is a brief amateurish example of metafiction (metanonfiction) social commentary.

Go home, you know who you’re following, people.

English Major Problems:

Realizing the comma splice you just wrote in a comment for a reblog.

Oh, what’s that? Nothing but the first draft of the first lesson plan I’ve ever written, no big deal.
Actually, it is a big deal. 

Oh, what’s that? Nothing but the first draft of the first lesson plan I’ve ever written, no big deal.

Actually, it is a big deal. 

An English Education Major Post: Oh God, Mother…

So my Mom is in college as well right now.

She’s talking about this paper she has to turn in Tuesday, no longer than 5 pages with the bibliography, at least 6 sources.

Her current problem is that it is too long. She decided she would just write her paper, and then pick her thesis statement last once she had everything down.

SHE DECIDED TO JUST WRITE HER PAPER AND THEN PICK THE THESIS STATEMENT LAST.

How do you make sure every paragraph supports your thesis if you don’t have a thesis. How do you argue a thesis without a thesis. How do you write more than six pages of argument without having an argument. OH YEAH. YOU WRITE TOO LONG, YOU WRITE SUPERFLUOUS SENTENCES, AND YOU RAMBLE.

Guys, there are reasons we have writing processes. It’s to help you out. It’s to make it as efficient as possible. It’s so you don’t waste time writing things you don’t need to and don’t waste time revising wasted words when you could be revising words that help your paper.

An English Education Major Post: Oh God, Mother…

So my Mom is in college as well right now.

She’s talking about this paper she has to turn in Tuesday, no longer than 5 pages with the bibliography, at least 6 sources.

Her current problem is that it is too long. She decided she would just write her paper, and then pick her thesis statement last once she had everything down.

SHE DECIDED TO JUST WRITE HER PAPER AND THEN PICK THE THESIS STATEMENT LAST.

How do you make sure every paragraph supports your thesis if you don’t have a thesis. How do you argue a thesis without a thesis. How do you write more than six pages of argument without having an argument. OH YEAH. YOU WRITE TOO LONG, YOU WRITE SUPERFLUOUS SENTENCES, AND YOU RAMBLE.

Guys, there are reasons we have writing processes. It’s to help you out. It’s to make it as efficient as possible. It’s so you don’t waste time writing things you don’t need to and don’t waste time revising wasted words when you could be revising words that help your paper.

Victoria Liveblogs Homework: Modern Novel Edition.
Post 1: Am I Englishing yet?
(And seriously—if you’ve read the last page, you’ve earned that diploma.

…Why yes, I did follow up Ernest Hemingway with Puella Magi Madoka Magica. IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE OF LOSS OF INNOCENCE!)

Victoria Liveblogs Homework: Modern Novel Edition.

Post 1: Am I Englishing yet?

(And seriously—if you’ve read the last page, you’ve earned that diploma.

…Why yes, I did follow up Ernest Hemingway with Puella Magi Madoka Magica. IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE OF LOSS OF INNOCENCE!)

assholedisney:

Throughout my four years of college I have learned how to handle difficult assignments calmly and to not overreact when faced with a stressful situation

Actually, as someone studying to be an English teacher, I am going to encourage this as a part of the writing process. Embrace your freakouts, even put them on paper, but just make sure you fix them later on.

(And I won’t be able to use profanity in the classroom, darn it all.)

Just holding “A Farewell to Arms” against my chest, cuddling it and saying, “Oh, baby—someone loved you enough to tell you about your flaws, didn’t they? You had an editor, didn’t you? Didn’t you~?”

(I’m comparing it to Virginia Woolf’s “To the Lighthouse.” Come on. Her husband was her publisher, and it was a literary novel written for the sake of artistic form and ideas and to explore stream of consciousness. And that is good, and I’m one of the few in the class who enjoyed the book. BUT THIS ONE! Oh, this baby got drafts! This baby was a manuscript with notes in red ink! This baby was flawed and fixed and still flawed and fixed some more! This baby was written for a general audience in a mass-market form instead of a literary crowd in an experimental form! Oh, you’re so easy to read you precious little peach!

And that’s why this book gets cuddles.

So after reading To the Lighthouse for Modern Novel, now I’m reading A Farewell to Arms. I literally just put the book on my face to appreciate it. <i>”Oh you sweet beautiful baby, you had an editor, didn’t you? Look at those darling paragraphs, that consistent perspective!”</i>

I’m sorry. I just have a lot of feelings about books. (And I actually liked To the Lighthouse. But that’s literary. It must be taken as it. This novel is a bit more mass-market, depending less on the reader to work hard at it for the sake of art, and with a bit more work on the part of the writer and editor to make a book for an audience. And it’s such a beautiful, wonderful contrast.)

ENGLISH WITH ME.

rochielle:

appeasingclouds:

A new vending machine has been released which can print any book within minutes.

The Espresso Book Machine has access to 500,000 different books - the same as 23.6 miles of shelf space - and can even churn out a fresh copy of Crime and Punishment in just nine minutes.

Pages are printed at a rate of over 100 per minute and are then pressed, glued and cut to produce a pristine book.

Users simply pick the book they would like on a screen and wait for it to be printed … it certainly is a novel way of getting a new book.

Actually, print on demand is a thing. It’s competing with ebooks, and currently ebooks appear to be winning. Both have troubles with the danger of piracy, etc., but nobody really cares about industry talk, do they?

(via feu-et-fleurs)

vaspim:

I want to start blogging in MLA format.

Works Cited

Vaspim, Chris B. “Vaspim Wants to Start Blogging in MLA Format.” Vaspim. http://vaspim.tumblr.com/, 29 May 2012. Web. 28 May 2012.

(Source: vaspim3, via feu-et-fleurs)

fyeahenglishmajorarmadillo:

[Picture: Background — a six piece pie style colour split, alternating black and grey. Foreground — a picture of an armadillo. Top text: “ [SOMEONE GETS ALL SMUG ABOUT TEXT SPEAK BEING BAD ENGLISH] ” Bottom text: “ [GUSH OVER THE SOCIO-LINGUISTIC IMPLICATIONS OF CHANGING MODES OF COMMUNICATION IN NEW MEDIA] ”]

Fucking THIS. Can we get more of these and less of those pretentious, self-important armadillos who bitch about language usage?
kthxbai

fyeahenglishmajorarmadillo:

[Picture: Background — a six piece pie style colour split, alternating black and grey. Foreground — a picture of an armadillo. Top text: “ [SOMEONE GETS ALL SMUG ABOUT TEXT SPEAK BEING BAD ENGLISH] ” Bottom text: “ [GUSH OVER THE SOCIO-LINGUISTIC IMPLICATIONS OF CHANGING MODES OF COMMUNICATION IN NEW MEDIA] ”]

Fucking THIS. Can we get more of these and less of those pretentious, self-important armadillos who bitch about language usage?

kthxbai